Black Mold Rears It's Ugly Head

I woke up at 4:30 this morning contemplating my life and that of my families lives. I went to bed about 2 am. I am sick but at the same time grateful for the blessing of health I do have. I am tired but at the same time coming to terms that it affords me nothing to "sleep" my life away. I am lost but at the same am found like NEVER before.

Again, I am wading through emotions of personal opposition and trust. Trust for myself. Trust for my husband. Most importantly, trust for my God. Reexamining faith and it's place in my life. Recognizing I have already been given all the answers....finding them....and believing in them, is the hard part. Does everyone go through this or is it just me?

Wednesday evening I started to get sick. My children have had mild coughs, runny noses, watery eyes, etc. since the beginning of the week. We have had rain all week which has been a big blessing seeing how east Texas is on the verge of a drought. But...it rained for a week straight. Oh, it came and went but every single day we had some rain, usually in copious amounts.

Within a few days of the rain starting, we noticed a black spot forming on the ceiling of the family room. I commented about it to Chris and then went about my daily doings. 2 days later we saw that the spot was growing quite rapidly and was now uncomfortably large and quite foul looking. We called my Dad who promptly came to look at it and covered the space where the hole was in the roof with a billboard tarp until the rain stops and the roof can be fixed.

I began to vaguely remember, years back, friends of mine sending links and talking about this black mold that houses can get which has potential health hazards and can cause illness. Very quickly and very profoundly.

I mentioned to Chris that I remembered this and asked him if he thought it could be making us sick. Both of us have had pretty severe allergies since moving here. Allergies, for me, are COMPLETELY uncommon. For Chris, he has dealt with them his whole life so even though they seemed a bit worse than normal, we both thought nothing of it at the time. Dean has had allergies off and on too but as we thought back, our memory was that all our kids have had some discomfort or another, since moving here, that simply looked like allergies and was treated as such.

We decided to leave the house that evening and come and stay with my mother in law in town. Upon arriving, I spent the next several hours researching black mold and the "effects"...if any....on human health. This information is from one of the first websites I looked up. Another one is HERE!

"According to a 1999 Mayo Clinic Study, nearly all chronic sinus infections (afflicting 37 million Americans) are a result of molds."

"A 300% increase in the asthma rate over the past 20 years has been linked to molds. (according to 1999 USA Today Cover Story)"

That seemed scary to me. As I read on, I saw that many of the symptoms we were having, and had had on a regular basis since moving in, were congruent with what I was reading. I had heard of a dear friend who moved to California to move close to the coast so she could relax and heal from breast cancer. Only to soon find out that her house was covered in mold and making her sicker than ever.

Chris went back today and with mask in place, cleaned up the mess. We researched cleaning agents that we're supposed to be more "natural" and less invasive on human and environmental health. He purchased one and used it only to find it didn't really work that great. Unfortunately, he had to pull out the Clorox and he said within twenty minutes the mold was gone. Of course. Refreshing to know how often we, as a society, use Clorox and how effectively it kills life. Oh well. Just one more check on the chemical list I'm already putting together.

For now, we are still here...at my mother in laws....waiting out the storm, figuratively and literally. I don't know if the mold is causing all or any of our health issues. I am feeling somewhat better but am still pretty sick and we have been out of the house for 2 days now. I think it's so hard to know exactly what to peg on our health issues just because allergies can look just like a little cold and allergies are quite prevalent here in Texas. I believe there are SO MANY factors that go into each persons health, that all of them should be looked at before a proper diagnoses can be formed.

So, I'm wondering what each of you think. Give me your opinion. I know I have many family members in the medical field....please speak up and give your insight. All you alternative friend...you too...don't hold back. We are praying and searching for answers on how to properly deal with this situation. Last thing we want is our children's health compromised in anyway. We are willing to take the measures, if need be, to thwart that from taking place.

Living in the lake house has been such a blessing for our pocketbook. We will be forever grateful for Grandmama and Dad letting us stay there. Thank you! Thank you~ But if changes are needed then changes we much make! If staying is the order of the day....then stay we will!!

Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."
~Albert Einstein

Splendor & Beauty

Today we are headed out to the land to start PULLING and CUTTING! I am posting pictures of how much the land has grown since we originally cleared it 4 months ago. Dean is in some of the pictures. I put him there to show the height. He is 5 ft. tall. There was NOTHING grown when we got here 4 months ago and now it's up to my chest. We are SHOCKED and EXCITED! It means good things for our garden but TONS of work for us right now.

We are going out today with the intent of pulling up and cutting down as much as we can. Also, I'm posting pictures our goat Francis. There's one of him up above. We sure LOVE him. We're anxious to get his fence up so we can put him on the land asap. Wish us luck!

Pratt and Francis! So CUTE!!

Ok, here's what you see right when you pull up to the section we plan to cultivate. We figure we orginally cleared about 2 acres and that's what your looking at here. This picture is taken right in front of our car. Notice the amount of pulling and cutting we will have to do. We thought about just paying someone to do it but we are going to see how much we can get down today doing it ourselves. Yes, we know we are crazy.

Here's the picture with Dean I was talking about. This plant was just a root in the ground 4 months ago. We just can't believe it!! 5+ ft. in 4 months. Whoa! We just can't believe it!

This is the walk way that walks us down to that group of trees you see in the background. Also, down to the brook. Once you pass that grouping of trees the tempatures drop immensely because of the brook and shade.

The beginning of the grouping of trees that was in the background in the picture above. Just some of the splendor and beauty we have been blessed with. Thanks so much Dad and Grandmama!!

Some more beauty! We researched at one point the name of this flower but have forgotten it. Some type of passion flower I think. We should see it in real life. It does take your breath away!! It smells lovely too!

Here's what you see as you walk behind the grouping of trees seen above. The tall trees in the background is where the brook is. This is where it is MUCH cooler!

The right side of the brook when you are facing it!

The left side of the brook when facing it!

More splendor and beauty!!

This is really exciting for us to see because this means we have a GREAT water run off right down the middle of the land. This is what the water has done to some of the mulch, pushed it down the hill. We're anxious to get the pond in to catch all that nice water for us!

This is just one of the dozens of OUTRAGEOUSLY large anthills on the land. This pretty much SUCKS! We are finding ways to get rid of them in a naturally. We'll see how it works. I had a dream last night about finding herbal insect repellent at our local health food store. We're going to look today. I've pretty much had it with getting eaten alive. If it's not the ants then it's the mosquitos. Last time we went out I came home with about a dozen bites. So much for raw foods and healthy eating as prevention. Oh well.

Lastly, here is Mabel all ready for us to head out! The most slendor and beauty we've seen yet!!

Until next time.

Abundant peace to all, Rachel

Mosquito Net, Watermelons & Homeschool

Here are the pictures I said I would post. I know ALL of you are jealous!! I actually like sleeping underneath this. Aside the whole roach issue, it's also kind of romantic...in a way. Well, when you don't think of it as a mosquito net. Maybe I'm stretching it a bit but WHO CARES? I'm ecstatic about it! I have a side view and a front view so you can appreciate it as much as me. I have had several people ask how our garden is doing too! A couple months of ago we thought our cucumbers were gone because of the heat. They did stop producing but the leaves kept growing and flourishing. Now, as the weather has cooled a bit, they are producing cucumbers again. For the last month, we've gotten several so that's been really FUN!!

Our tomatoes are pretty much dying right now. In one of the pictures of our watermelons, you can see our sad tomatoes plants behind. But....we're VERY HAPPY to say that our watermelons are doing GREAT!! We bought some different heirloom varities so some are striped and some have these cute yellow speckled dots.

We are EXCITING to get started on our fall garden. I'm planning on filling ya'll in on everything we plan on planting and taking pictures of the land and where we are putting the garden spot. This week we are going out to the land with our new goat. Oh....I'll take pictures of him toO! We named him Francis after St. Francis of Assisi. He is our lawnmower right now.

This is our BIGGEST melon right now. I just can't wait to slurp it up!!

This is our watermelon bed that is doing the best. Notice the tomato plants in the background. You can't tell but they are in a different bed. Chris thinks these watermelons are doing so good because he mixed in quite a bit of wood ash with the compost and such.

Lastly, here are my AMAZING kids doing their homeschool!! Just thought I pass it along!

Peace to all, Rachel

Hitting "The Wall"

We hit the wall! Chris and I spent the last week figuring that out. That was/somewhat currently is, the problem. We think.....

Last night we were watching this funny movie called "Run Fatboy Run." It's a British film about a guy who runs out on his pregnant girlfriend on their wedding day. 5 years later and after she finds a new guy, he realizes he made a mistake and wants her back. During those 5 years he has gained quite a bit of weight. Also, he is concluding that he is unhappy and has been unable to follow through with anything of importance to him.

He meets his love interest's new boyfriend and he happens to be running a marathon for a charity. The main character decides he is going to run too and prove to her that he can follow through, with the hopes that she will want him back.

I won't ruin the movie for you because I think it's good enough that you should see it but there's a scene that impacted both Chris and I profoundly. He's running the race and soon after starting , he gets hurt. He's lying on the ground deciding if he should keep going. The movie leaves you assuming he doesn't. As time passes, you realize he is running the race while being pretty injured. During the middle of the run (or walk since he was so injured he's walking pretty slow), he stops. Everyone around him is sure he has hit "the wall." In the movie, a brick wall appears before him and you can tell he just doesn't think he can see a way to get through it. Then....a brick is removed from the middle of the wall. He stands on his tip toes and looks through it.

Mind you, at this point, I assumed he was going to see his love interest. She was the one it seemed he was doing it for so I only guessed that she would be on the other side motivating him. Nope. He looked through the brick only to see himself on the other side.

Chris and I were talking this morning and he said, "I'm like that guy in the movie last night. I felt like I'd hit "the wall." You've seen some of my previous posts. You understand just a tidbit of the struggles we've had. They may not look like that much. They're probably not in the grand scheme of things. But....just like the movie when the main character was injured, he merely stumbled a bit but still got back up. I feel that's how things have been for us up til now. Just things to stumble over but then you just pick yourself back up.

Where we are at now feels much different merely in the fact that we see the wall, we feel the wall, we are completely conscious to where we are at in comparison to the wall...how we got here....and are now asking ourselves if we can go forward. And even more importantly, asking ourselves the question of...if we do go forward why are we going forward and for what reason?

Well, I'm very happy to say I think we have and are getting our answers. I'm scared to put this out there because then it seems so much more real but we decided to make a 2 year commitment with the adventure and then see where we are at. We already knew some of the reasons why we made this decision. Where we are at now only heightens our awareness and shows the picture clearer than when we arrived in Texas.

Chris and I are looking through our wall right now. We see we are doing this for ourselves and our family. We see that I am doing this for me and he is doing this for him. We see that even though this is THE MOST challenging thing we have ever done, we believe....we hold out hope, that the end result will be more rewarding than we could ever imagine. We say that full well knowing that it could turn out completely different than we even had planned.

So, I am happy to say....we are climbing over, or scooting under or just plain plowing through our wall right now, knowing we will come out victorious on the other side. I think anyways.....hehehehe!

Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

Permaculture 101

"Permaculture is an approach to designing human settlements and perennial agricultural systems that mimic the relationships found in the natural ecologies. It was first developed by Australians Bill Mollison and David Holmgren and their associates during the 1970s in a series of publications. The word permaculture is a portmanteau of permanent agriculture, as well as permanent culture."

"The intent was that, by rapidly training individuals in a core set of design principles, those individuals could design their own environments and build increasingly self-sufficient human settlements — ones that reduce society's reliance on industrial systems of production and distribution that Mollison identified as fundamentally and systematically destroying Earth's ecosystems."

Here is wikipedia's definition which I think tells it MUCH better than I could. I had heard about permaculture a few years back from some good friends who had been trying to apply some of it's principles into their home garden. It sounded intriguing back then but, at the time, we weren't in a place where could apply any of it's teachings.

Once it was time for us to make this change, we started gathering all of info we could on the subject. One of the main inspirations for me is the people I found at a website called "The Path to Freedom." I have a vague memory of someone sending me an email link to their video YEARS ago. I remember watching it then and feeling this swelling inside me. I had no idea how deeply it I was impacted until recently. I have scoured their website and watched the video over and over.



Now, I'm not sure if they are applying permaculture ideas into their set up but my what I've seen and read I can only assume so. It's just that I don't think seen the actual word permacuture in their stuff but I'm not absolutely sure. Just let me leave it at that.

We decided to go straight to the source with our first book about permaculture, "Introduction to Permaculure." We have really loved this book and found that it has been a MUST for what we are trying to do. But...we also found it to be written in a textbook format which tends to lean it more toward the boring side. Along with use of language and verbage that was somewhat over our heads. (We are most DEFINITELY a bit on the slower side)

After months of reading, we were grateful for another recommendation. A book called "Gaia's Garden." Also, a permacuture book but a MUCH easier read. When to read both books together, we found that understanding the first book become easier. We found that whatever we struggled to understand in "Introduction to Permaculture", would tend to be explained in a bit more understandable way in "Gaia's Garden." We do feel that we need both books to get and apply needed information in regards to the teachings of permaculture. We do plan on purchasing and reading Mollison's Permaculture Part 1, 2 and so on. There is so much information in just the 2 books we have now that we feel until we can really glean and even apply some of what we already have there is no need to purchase more yet.

One idea that we realize is a MUST is the DESIGN. Well, I should say if you are starting how we are which is square one with bare land. Design is a must even if you are doing what the Path to Freedom people are doing too! It's just you start from where you are at and what is or is not available to you. Our situation I think is a bit different than most because we are starting at square one.

This has been an EXTREMELY daunting task for us. To be honest, we really don't know what we are doing. We are gleaned mega doses of information from people and books but we have never actually applied any of it til now. Trying to create a design that is highly effective and reusable in all aspects has taken much more time than we expected.

These books have truly been a life saver in so many ways. There were so many ideas and concepts that we already knew would work to help build what we are wanting but we just didn't know how to apply them. This is where the books comes in. I think anyone with an endeavor as ours has many ideals they want to meet to create self sufficiency. One main ideal for us is freedom. We want freedom from enslavement of debt and bills and such but also freedom to do what our lives what we truly want. When we want and for the most part, removing ourselves from being beholden to anyone or anything. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom.

We've have found that with the ideas and principles of permaculture being properly applied, homesteading seems to be more of a joy and less of a headache. We assume so anyway. We have already found this to be true, to a small extent, with our garden. Just applying permaculture to our garden, we've found it to be much easier and less time restrictive than expected. We have most definitely made many mistakes with this first garden but feel our fall garden should be better and more concise.

I think I will stop here for now. We are still in the process of deciding what type of earth friendly home we want to build. Come back for my next post. Earthbag? Earth berm? Underground? Adobe? What to choose? What to choose? We have some ideas. I'll tell you all about it.

Abundant peace to all,

Rachel

Update On Roaches

I guess while I was gone to Utah, Chris had his mother come and spray something (I don't really want to know what, at this point). Since we have been back, the amount of roaches has dropped to almost non existent. So, the future plan....to spray more chemicals. We are only spraying them in the kitchen, bathroom and patio since we think that's where they're coming from into the rest of the house. We'll see I guess.

The REALLY exciting news though. My mosquito net came yesterday. Can you imagine the world I live in now? I am ECSTATIC about receiving a mosquito net. I NEVER thought I would hear myself say that but I am. And I'm thanking the Divine for helping me find it. Yep. That's the way my life works.

Lastly, the heat has died down. Don't get me wrong, we are still sweating but temperatures have dropped to 95 degrees or even below on some days. Blessing...blessing...and more blessings. The sweet smell of reprieve. I mean that literally too! You can only imagine how some of us smelled by the end of the day.

I think I FINALLY found my silver lining. Thanks for EVERYONE's help. I couldn't have done it without you~

Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

Ugh!! Cockroaches~

Notice the writing to the left of this post. See it there in blue? It is our mission statement. Our purpose for this move and what we want to accomplish. Just so you know, weeks of talking, praying, discussing and much debating went into that mission statement. At this moment though, there is a certain sentence that I'm highly considering throwing out!

Here it is. "We speak and hold firm to our truth while maintaining authentic harmonious connections with all living things." Don't get me wrong, I'm all for speaking and holding firm to my truth, it's the next part of the sentence that I'm struggling with right now. Yeah....the part about maintaining harmonious connections with all living things. That part...well...that part I think is gonna do me in!

Because I did spend some of my growing up years here in Texas, Imoved here aware of the bug situation. I have vague memories of pronounced swelling on certain parts of my body only after we realized I was probably allergic to fire ants. Then there were the asps, the black furry caterpiller that we were NEVER to touch or go near. And lastly, I DEFINITELY remember and will NEVER forget the COCKROACHES!

Let's talk about cockroaches for a minute. There are 3 types of cockroaches found in our area. All of which live within our home. The American Cockroach. The Chinese Cockroach and the Wood Roach. I have a few things to say about each and everyone of them. Here it is!

They're FOUL! They stink. They're FAST...so fast in fact that when you see one and feel the urge to step on it, it's gone before you can even blink. They are UGLY!! They exude this energy or presence that seriously make the hair all over your body stand up straight. What is that? and WHY? I really don't know. I don't feel that way when I think about an ant or a fly or a cricket. In fact, I can't think of another bug where ABSOLUTE DISGUST is the first word that comes to mind.

Oh, I have to just throw in this. A few months before we moved, Chris and I were watching the Travel Channel I think. This guy travels around the world eating food. It looked like a very intriguing show so we stopped to watch it. It seemed exciting enough to us just to watch him eat different foods but the show took a new twist when we realized he was eating BUGS from around the world. Ok, I just got finished eating a bit ago and I can already feel my food wanting to come up the wrong direction. It was just to much for me..

Back to the cockroaches. Let me just tell you. They are MANY! They are prevalent. They are HUGE and they are NOT leaving the lake house. I just don't know what to do. I think I finally reached my limit when I was pulling out my suitcases to pack for our trip to Utah and because the bags had sat there for longer than a few days, about 5 or 6 cockroaches had gather in and around and were now scattering EVERYWHERE. During the scattering process, one ran across the top of my bed and over the body and face of my dear Mabel, only to wake her up! It just is so GROSS to watch that happen and my brain is still trying to figure out why.

Chris says the way I feel is pretty illogical. After all, cockroaches can't hurt you. They just run fast and usually they run away from you! I understand all this. I promise I do. It's still just about the FEELING I get from them. My skin literally crawls. When we come home at night, all my kids storm into the house to start the cockroach killing frenzy as they turn lights on. It's like a war zone in there. Roaches running everywhere. Feet flying like rubber fly swatters. On that night, I walked into the house to find 25 dead roaches. Are you feeling my pain yet?

Or...when your dead asleep and all of a sudden you feel something on your arm that is kind of tickly? You want to maybe scratch it but you're still too asleep. You feel it again and this time your a bit more conscious. All of a sudden it hits....WHAM!! You realize what you are feeling. You're instantly awake and sitting up only to watch the butt end of the cockroach rushing down your arm and off your hand. I can't even write this story without my toenails curling.

Here's the dilemma. I know what our mission statement says. My heart, my idealistic look at the world through rose colored glasses heart, wants to see a cockroach, explain to it that it does not belong in our house and gently pick it up and kiss it good bye while I send him out the door. Unfortunately, for my family we tried this at first until Chris finally let me know that my idealism was KILLING our family.

Then we moved onto essential oils that I diligently sprayed every night around every crack and crevice in the house. This seemed to keep them at bay for a while but never stopped them from coming. I became desperate and starting talking to people about it. EVERYONE....I'm not exaggerating here.....everyone told me the ONLY way to get rid of roaches was to use chemicals. Roach killer. (Let me rephrase that....everyone who lives in Texas told me to use chemicals. All my extremely loving idealistic friends in Utah told me to talk to the roaches and they would go away. Well, I tried that. The roaches response was merely, "Um, we are doing our jobs here. This house is falling apart so if you want us to leave don't provide such great food!")

Boric acid is our next move. Supposed to be safe for humans, bad for cockroaches. I have researched up and down for alternative methods that actually work. None so far. I would definitely love it if someone has a fool proof method that I haven't heard about so if you do....don't hold back.

Until then I am staying at my parents or my mother in laws waiting for my mosquito netting to get here. You read right. Mosquito netting. It turns out I can put up with knowing the roaches are there, I can even let somr of them reside in our home, but I WILL NOT put up with them crawling on me at night.

My mom and I sat in front of the computer 2 nights while tears flowed down my cheeks when I realized I could purchase mosquito netting and sleep peacefully without fear of being touched by roaches. (Sorry a bit of an exaggeration there!) The saddest part of it was I wished I had thought to get it 3 months ago instead of sleeping with the sheet covering my whole body including my face and head.

So, while I work on myself and my complete acceptance and love for the cockroach. For what they do for my compost. For what they do for Mother Earth...I will be applying any and all of the methods I spoke of above. Please know, that I am actually praying for that love because ultimately....I do long to live harmouiously with them....with their foulness and all.

The last 2 posts, I know, have been a bit complainy. I don't plan to make all of them, or even most of them for that matter, that way. The heat and the cockroaches just happen to be my 2 biggest obstacles right now both of which...I am VERY excited to say, seem to be changing for the better. I have had a few friends state they would like me to go into more detail of my daily life. So there it is. I know your all jealous. I would be. Until next time.

Abundant peace to all,

Rachel

Sweating Bullets

I am a city girl! There is just no if, ands or buts about it. I have NEVER been raised or lived in the country in any way, shape or form. Oh, I remember once, when we lived in Oklahoma, my dad putting in a garden. I remember him periodically watering it. But mostly, I remember it slowly shrivling up and dying before any fruit or veggies even produced!

Oh....and there was that time that we did actually have a horse. I was quite young so I don't remember it much but my mom says I LOVED to feed it. I would walk outside with carrot or apple in hand, very anxious to feed her, but according to my mom...the carrot was usually gone by the time I got to her. I have ALWAYS loved horses and have had opportunities to ride them off and on in my life. Wouldn't that be nice if that made me a country girl, but I'm thinking that doesn't really count. Oh well.

The reason for the monologue about me is, if you haven't noticed, we plan to move out into the country. We are moving to a tiny town in Texas. It does have 20,000 people I guess, but that's pretty tiny compared to where I have lived before. We're not WAY far out but it sure does feel that way. I must admit, I just am not used to this way of living...AT ALL! I don't even think I had heard the word "homestead" before a year ago or so.

I don't know if my issues are so much the country/city thing either, as it is realizing that I have NEVER been required to do anything hard in my life. REALLY!! I promise. My husband went on a 2 year Mormon mission to Portugal and learned quite a bit about personal sacrifice and with drawls from things you become used to. No, not me. If I wanted something, I just went to the closest store and bought. Or figured out how I could get it. I can't remember a time when I ever had to go without anything I absolutely felt I couldn't live without.

Oh, don't get me wrong. I spent years complaining like everyone else about what I still didn't have. When I am truly honest with myself though, I have lived the life of luxury. We've never had large sums of money, if fact....the contrary. I now recognize though that if I wanted it bad enough. I got it. That's it.

Well, here's the current battle I am having now. As I have stated before....we live in a 45 year old, 900 sq.ft., cockroach and termite infested, lake house with NO air conditioning. We live in East Texas where the temperatures can raise to well over 100 degrees with 90%+ humidity. I did spend some of my growing up years in Tx. but remember what I said above. I lived just like most everyone else in an air conditioned home with most anything I wanted. (If you are thinking....wait....I didn't get everything I wanted, if you are 50-60 years old or older than I might believe you....but if you are 40 or younger, I don't. We are the generation of convenience and ease. Let's be honest.) And let's face it, I was a child and truly resilient to most anything. I could sleep comfortably on a cement floor back then.

Living this way is NOT what I am used to. At all. I hoping you are understanding this now. Granted, Chris and I KNOW this change is meant for us. It is the IDEAL we have been wanting for some time for ourselves and our family. We still hold out hope and believe we can and will do it. Does that make it easier? Well, it hasn't yet. In fact, I am realizing my upbringing is actually making it harder.

I am not used to sweating ALL day long. Day in. Day out. It doesn't matter what time of day right now. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. Unless, we walk into an air conditioned building. Which does happen a couple times a week. Let me tell you!! I have NEVER before been more grateful for air conditioning than I have been over the past 4 months.

I live in my frock at home because of the heat. When I awake in the morning, I put it on. I sweat. We work outside on the garden. I sweat. We come back in the house to cool off. I stand in front of the fan. I sweat. The funnest part of my day is standing in front of the stove during the absolute HOTTEST part of the day, making dinner. BOY, do I sweat! It really does feel like taking a shower sometimes. It is such a strange sensation to feel wetness running down your abdomen in such large quantities that your can't believe you even have that much liquid inside of you to be excreted.

Ok, you want to know the funny part now. My oldest son. He's 13. He will wear long sleeve shirts. I'm not kidding. Like I said above, resilient.

The blessing....the silver lining...the God send....we live on a lake. YEAH! When it's unbearable, we jump in. It cools us off and lifts us. We feel we can go on. Or we even have a hose. Talk about blessing. I never thought I would hear myself say how grateful I am for our outside hose. The water is VERY cool and feels HEAVENLY when you are that hot. Thank God! Seriously~ Also, in the evening when it does cool down to 95 degrees, we've been blessed with a ceiling fan that sucks in the cool air. HALLELUJAH!! Seriously. Sometimes it drops down to the 80's at night and we actually stop sweating and feel comfortable.

So, there's a tidbit into our daily life. Check back very soon. I plan on writing A LOT more often and next time will be about the cockroaches and my new found disgust toward them. I'll hopefully take pictures and go into detail of the creepy crawlies....moving on us at night. You don't want to miss it!!

Abundant peace to all (especially me),
Rachel

P.S. If you want to see pictures of our house, check HERE! A friend stated it looks alot nicer than she thought. Ya, she can't really smell it, can she? I will take more detailed pictures. We are grateful for it but OH....it's gross.

Holding Pattern

A few things have come about over the last few days. We have hit a holding pattern. We feel a bit lost with the endeavor we are under taking. I'm not quite sure if I should even post this on this blog. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what to post here and what to write about and hope this is still of interest to our readers.

We have realized that due to severe under funding and abundant IDEALISM, we are somewhat at a loss as to whether this undertaking is over taking US! We have several reasons for this move, aside from self reliance and self sufficiency. We truly want to change habits that we feel are preventing us from creating a consistent progressive pattern in our lives. As we thought about and pondered this change over the last couple of years, our weaknesses were glaring right at us. We saw our laziness, our gluttony, our complete waste, our lack of care or responsibility for more than just ourselves and what this was doing to our fellow living beings and our Mother Earth. We became acutely aware of where our economy seemed to be heading. We saw the need for constructive play and work to be the order of the day for our children. We wanted to do better. We LONGED to BE better....but....just didn't know how we could do it, living in our current society that seems to enable all the negative attributes I just listed above. We wanted to spend MUCH more time together as a family and truly share in "being the change we wanted to see in the world."

We are pretty sure we can still go forward and make ends meet. We have some ideas to bring in some income, even though, our hope is that we will need very little monetary funds by the time all is said and done. We hope to be able to trade goods like goods and help to rebuild a more principled economy. But....we are still in a quandary of how to move forward. That with 5 children, whom we home school and are with all day long and do need constant and consistent attention, if we really can accomplish this goal. We truly want the best for them. We believe this change can instill something inside of them the strength to believe and live their dreams. The question is....do we have the strength inside us, as their parents? We just don't know.

This is reason for this post. You can read a more emotional version on my other blog at www.livingmom.net. I am wanting ideas, thought, opinions(hopefully understanding and kind), support. Has our idealism gotten the best of us? Should we have transitioned more? I feel just so lost in these questions that I am struggling for an answer.

I know I have insightful readers and friends. Thank you in advance for your words. They will be pondered and prayed over and taken very seriously.

I am truly going to try and post more often. Another question is what are people wanting to know about through our experience? That might give me a better idea about what to post about.

Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

Our Core Book

This is the book that got it all started for us. Remember that group that we were thinking of forming a community with, well a good friend recommended we read this book. I went and purchased it as soon as possible.

I must admit. It is INVALUABLE for someone in our situation who is looking for more understanding of how to go about creating more self sustaining lifestyle. We hadn't even completed the whole book before we made the decision. What we had read was THAT informative and convincing that ANYONE can make these changes and achieve what the book teaches.

It goes into detail of how they left the city life for the country life. It was during the beginning of the depression, in economic crisis, they opted out for better living and truer freedom. But it is much different from other books of this matter, for the fact that the Nearings purpose, drive and convictions are extremely firm and intact. This aspect we greatly appreciate.

"We left the city with three objectives in mind. The first was economic. We sought to make a depression-free living, as independent as possible of the commodity and labor markets, which could not be interfered with by employers, whether businessmen, politicians or educational administrators. Our second aim was hygienic. We wanted to maintain and improve our health. We knew that the pressures of city life were exacting and we sought a simple basis of well-being where contact with the earth and home grown, organic food would play a large part. Our third objective was social and ethical. We decided to liberate and dissociate ourselves, as much as possible, from the cruder forms of exploitation: the plunder of the planet, the slavery of man and beast, the slaughter of men in war, and of animals for food."

We feel and have felt for some time the same way. We have read and keep rereading each chapter to get a better grasp of how to go about what we are doing. Because of the finite detail, we have applied so many of their personal experience to our lives. We wrote a mission statement, as you see on the side of our blog. We just finished our 8 guiding principles. They have 12. We just made ours a bit more concise.

Our plans for our garden, orchard and building are also similar. Even if we are not as exact, we can and will be applying many, many of their teachings. We do live in a warmer climate and are dealing with changes, as they lived in a very cold climate, it still can help ANYONE achieve their goals. Even if your goals are minimal or not as grand as ours, this book can still help you to apply any changes toward any goals, big or small. If it's just creating a garden, building a more energy efficient...earth friendly home, or plant a few fruit trees, you will find the answers your looking for.

"The Good Life" really is "an underground bible for the city-weary." We figure we will be reading it over and over for the rest of our lives, really. We are EXTREMELY GRATEFUL that we found it and hope we can keep applying its teachings and educational principles better and deeper each time we read it.

Abundant peace to all,

Rachel

The Crash Course

My brother sent this to our family blog. I HIGHLY recommend you watch ALL of it. I know it is long but I decided to post this and the other video on both of my blogs (www.livingmom.net) because of how VITAL both are. Chris and I spent the last 2 days watching them in between daily chores. Our conviction that personal change is needed NOW was reiterated.

It is DIRE we take action both physically and psychologically, as both videos portray. We can make PHENOMENAL changes, quickly....effectively....easily..... when we take responsibility not only for ourselves but, like Chris Martenson says in the last video, each other too! What that means is we are doing things like sending this video forward to others. Just a small step to help others along their path of removing fear and choosing preparedness and more self reliance.I stand with Chris Martenson where I don't know the future but I would MUCH rather be ready for any large change than not.

The personal changes we are making as a family, we recognize, are not for everyone. They might be a bit severe but....this is the course of action that is working for us. By watching the video and then getting on Chris' website, you can take his self assessment test and find out what changes will work for you. We have found that even the tiniest steps in a conscious direction of responsibility has made HUGE differences in any insecure or unsure feelings we may have.

So, our hope is that after watching this video you might take the time to figure out where you are at and what changes you can make for the betterment of not only ourselves but human kind, as a whole. We hope you'll keep checking back to our blogs and websites. We hope that some information we share will help you in this endeavor.

Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

Law Of Deliberate Creation

Life's Symphony

"To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion....In a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common. This is to be my symphony."
~William Ellery Channing

Coming Into Our Own

While in the emergency room just hours after our car accident, I realize it is going to be almost impossible for me to nurse or take care of my baby...let alone my older children. I was in EXCRUTIATING pain, like I have NEVER had before. I actually felt myself trying to leave my body so I didn't have to deal with the pain but I decide that the pain is there to teach me so I will stay as long as I can to listen. Soon after taking my ex-rays, we learn my collar bone is, in fact, broken. Something that was QUITE obvious before the x-rays were even taken. I call my mother at 1 am, from the hospital, hoping that her deep love for me will come through and she will, like she has SO MANY times before, come to my aid and uplift and support my family and I through this healing. She arrives a day and a half later, more ready and willing to help than I think I have ever seen her before. I'm so THANKFUL she has come and know it is for the best I called her.

3 days after coming home from my trip, the dream comes again. This time it is changed slightly. I still walk into the colorless room and feel the energy surrounding it, it's just that I am only there for a moment. With the first dream, it felt to me that I was in the room for a VERY long time and the feelings I was feeling would NEVER end. This time I walked into the room knowing about and looking for my friends who had come to teach me in the first dream. Sure enough, as soon as the dream started, they showed up and again repeated almost verbatim exactly what happened the first dream. This time though I was there MUCH longer and understood more of what the white buckets were and what I should be learning.

So, within the first few days of my Mom's arrival, we start chatting about my life and such. I explain to her a how we are going down to San Pete County to look at some land and what we are thinking in regards to our future and what we are hoping to create for ourselves. I tell her about my dream and how we were feeling drawn to make some kind of move so we could build a more self sustaining life style. I still smile when I think of the look on her face when I was sharing this with her. I actually saw the light bulb come on of how she could help us, as my mother is ALL about helping anyone she can. She looks at me and says “Well, you know, we have 25 acres of land in Marshall and no one is living on it or planning on doing anything with it anytime soon. I'm sure if you were planning on putting in an orchard, if you put in an extra few fruit trees for us and take care of them, we wouldn't mind if you lived on the land and used it how you need to..”
My first reaction to this was to turn her down immediately but that is because I spent many of my growing up years in Texas and there was just something about it that I didn't like. Living here once again, I have found out what that is. BUGS and HEAT! But that's for another time so I'll wait to give my sermon on how I am struggling to live harmoniously with all living things....like our mission statement says.

Anyway, as soon as I see Chris later that evening I start to discuss the idea with him. He states that he already knew they had land and had even thought about mentioning it to me but he was sure I would have turned him down before he even mentioned it. Up til that point, I'm sure I would of but because of my experience in California and now my car accident I knew, for a surety, that things were in no way an accident and my life was being laid out for me and all I had to do was take it or not. I apologized about not being open sooner but told him I was open now and wanted to talk about it. With the VERY limited amount of money we had, we knew unless the land was gifted to us or we try to create our dreams on the small plot we were currently living on, there was just no way we could become as self sufficient as we were wanting.

So, after some long conversations and lots of praying, I told my Mom to seriously consider was moving there and asked her to talk to my Dad about it. That evening she did so and sure enough there were both in agreement that they were open to us using the land. Looking back and even now, it seems SO SURREAL how easily this whole moved ebbed and flowed. I can tell you I felt and still feel that so much about this is not about me or my family. I remember when I was studying to become a midwife, so many of them would comment on how they didn't decided to become a midwife....how midwifery called them. This is EXACTLY how we feel about everything about this move. It all came together so easily, gently even perfectly that we felt and feel called. It's hard to explain. I hope you understand.

The Dream

Just days before I left on my trip, I had a dream. One of the most VIVID and ALIVE dreams I have EVER had. Now understand, as of right now, I have never considered myself to be a big dreamer or I should that I've never felt I've had any gift in regards to dreams or dreaming. But....this dream was really like no other I had experienced before. It was more than just real. It was NOW! I was living it right then and I awoke KNOWING it. I really am not progressed enough in eloquent English to even be able to describe more accurately what I am talking about. It just felt like no other dream I had been a part of before that time.

As soon as I awoke, I woke up Chris to tell him about it. My dream was this and to this day it is still almost as vivid and real as it was then. In my dream, I walk into a room, it looks like a VERY SMALL apartment but looks similar to the kitchen/dining area of our current American Fork home, where all color is missing. Everything around me is black and white. I look to the far end of the room and there is a old wooden table and chairs that are barren. My eyes shift over to my family I see sitting in a corner of the room on the floor. Chris is standing looking down at the children....eyes tired, shoulder sagging and ever so burdened. There is an air of ABSOLUTE and COMPLETE desperation and longing for something that seems can now NEVER be given to Chris, myself or our children. I recognize that something is FOREVER lost and can or will never be returned. This feeling is almost palpable.

Upon looking at Chris and my children and the surroundings of where we are living, I soon realize we are destitute. We have next to nothing. Chris is VERY thin and my children look almost gaunt. You can tell they are not standing because they are too weak, thin and almost lifeless. I struggle to be able to even properly describe the thoughts and feelings I was flooded with upon entering this scene but thoughts and feelings were DEFINITE and I knew exactly what I was looking at and what was meant for me to learn. I can see that my family is starving. I look at Chris longing for answers. I walk to him and ask him what we are too do. With his head hanging, he shrugs his shoulders and states there is nothing we can do. It is too late. I processed to cry. I have never nor hope to ever feel this feeling of sheer desperation again. It was and still is like no other feeling I have felt before. It reminded me of how the Jews might have felt as they were driven away from their families and homes. That was the sense of doom and gloom that pervaded the air.

As soon as this feeling of nothingness entered and I was sinking deep into it, a light entered the room and the dream was split into half. Directly down the middle of my view, I could still see my family but the new scene that was arriving was now in this BRILLANT color....bright, shining, new, awakening, alive, refreshing like jumping in cool clean pool of water on a hot and weary day. Any and all of the negative and deep doom I had been feeling was IMMEDIATELY relieved and removed by this new scene entering our view. First, there was a couple...a man and a woman who walked up to us and gave a very friendly hello. I knew right away there were part of Chris and I, a enlightened, radiant, divine part of each of us. They didn't look like us which was interesting. The woman was blond and a bit overweight and the man looked like a farmer, thin and tall, wearing overalls. This was an strange sensation to know that these represented an unknown part of Chris and I but looked nothing like us.

Anyway, this man and woman were so friendly and inviting. They smiled like no other smile I had ever seen. Complete safety and longing for teaching and learning from them soon entered my spirit. After saying hello, they soon beckoned us to follow them. The woman held out her arms to show us the BEAUTY that surrounded where they live. I look around and notice they live in, what looks and feels like, the Garden of Eden. Everything is lush and green and growing like I have never seen before. They have a small but quaint log home. Peace, joy, and bliss permeate everything I see and feel. I stand in awe of this glorious place these people have set up for themselves.

Not many words are spoken between us and this couple. Most everything is communicated through thought or feelings. The woman then walks us over to her house and show us a room that seems to never end. It goes on and on and on. The only real description I can give this room is a long narrow hall like area where there are shelves on both sides. It reminded me of all the food storage rooms I had seen in many of the homes of my church going friends. On the shelves, stacked neatly in rows and right next to each other were white 5 gallon buckets. They went on as far as my eyes could see. It was obvious that much effort and hard work had gone into building, setting up and maintaining this room. Neither the man nor woman looked or carried an air of being worn out, in the least,. Quite the opposite. They were so humble yet anxious to show us this room. They watched our faces as we looked at their room to see the light come on inside us as we soon wanted to know how we could gain this self sustaining happiness that they had and were maintaining.

I immediately and excitedly asked how they had put together so much assurance for themselves. But even more than that, I wanted to know WHAT was inside the white buckets. The woman looked at me and responded with a short but quick answer that what was in the bucket was what was bringing their abundance. Abundance was the prevalent thought and word, once this couple entered the dream. I KNEW that whatever was in those buckets was what was giving them or bringing them to where they were which was a state of freedom, self sufficiency, utter joy, acceptance and peace like I never had nor since, felt.

The rest of the dream is me asking the woman what is in the buckets and her response each and every time is something in regard to it being the “thing” that had brought them their abundance. It was the “thing” that brought them to where they were. It was VERY OBVIOUS though that they were letting us know we could have it too! And it didn't feel hard or even out of reach in ANYWAY!! Quite the opposite. It felt light and easy. It felt that we could have it as soon as we wanted it and were ready for it. There was nothing we had to do to get to this place that they were at other than desiring it. Longing for it and then believing we can have it too! Right after that, I woke up somewhat disappointed to leave the feelings that had and were just being instilled like nothing else, into my heart and soul. The dream lingered with me for the rest of the day and some time after. At the time, the dream meant some kind of learning for Chris and I but I still hadn't realized the growth and understanding that would take place because of this dream.

The Car Accident

In January of this year, I drove to California with my sister in law Yulia, a good friend Charlene, and her daughter Katrina and my little Mabel for a “Birth Into Being” apprenticeship 10 day course. This 10 days became one of the most life defining and life changing times unlike any other that I have EVER had before. I left that experience clearer and more assured of who I was and what I wanted and was ready to take hold of in my life. We packed our things, anxious and excited about what the future lay hold for us. We loaded up and drove away feeling renewed and refreshed.

To our discouragement, half way home, in Battle Mountain, Nevada....we hit black ice slid across the freeway and flipped our car, more than once, to land right side up on the other side of the freeway. Luckily, the only semi serious injury what my broken clavicle. Katrina came out needing a few stitches while the rest we're pretty banged up and bruised. We thanked God and Goddess for our safety and limited hurting. Especially for our dear Mabel who was so thankfully strapped securely in her car seat. Not a single scratch or scrap, physical or otherwise. From a logical standpoint and from the looks of the car, we should have all been dead but no....as we soon have all realized our Divine had other plans for us!

The car accident, along with the broken clavicle, facilitated something inside me that had been needing to be released for sometime. To this day, I still am not sure of all the physical, spiritual and emotional implications that have taken place because of this accident as I am sure there are even more to come. What I do know is that the physical force that took place with the spinning of the car created some kind of vortex that ( I know this sounds so weird but I am pretty “out there”) aided to taking my physical body to a new place it needed to be in order to aid in the creation of my current desires and dreams. Then with the pain of my clavicle, I was able to work through TONS of regressed and unconscious, unneeded energy that had laid dormant for some time. I recognized almost as soon as it hit that this was taking place and took every advantage to work through it and move it as quickly as possible.

How It All Started

I think it appropriate to share why we decided to make this move. I'm putting this information into several posts, as it would make it way too long to post it all at once. It is pretty detailed but I hoped that might make it a bit more interesting.

I should say that the idea for something like this way of living popped into consciousness for us about 4 years ago. We were thinking of putting together some kind of retreat on a large plot of land with a friend. At that time, we were living in California but planning on moving back to Utah and had a friend who was trying to purchase land in San Pete County for this to take place. To no avail, and to our now relief, that did not take place....all plans fell through and we moved back to Utah living the city life we had always known.

Well, then again about a year or so ago, another good friend mentioned that her, along with others, were seriously considering putting a small group of people together to purchase land to build a community. This is of more interest nowadays than it has been in the past because of our current economic situation which is at it's poorest point than it's been in awhile. In Utah, we found a few websites of people putting together what they called “Intentional Communities” which is basically a small group of, usually somewhat like minded people, to aid and help each live and create a more self sufficient and self sustaining life style. I must admit, this is sounded VERY appetizing to us as we had been ready for some time to move out of the current city lifestyle to a more simple, peaceful way of living.

Over the year's time, we met with a group of those parties interested in building this community and even drove to look at land that we thought might best serve our needs. 3 years prior Chris and I started a little used car selling business and at this time, had just went into another business with a friend repoing cars. The car business, because of our current economic situation, was plummeting quickly. The repo business looked as if it might fair nicely for us but we felt that grabbing this opportunity while we can would be the BEST for our family. These reasons, along with our longing for this change for years is what prompted what happened next.

Connected Change

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
~Margaret Mead

About The Garden

I was so proud of this garden when we put it in only 2 months ago. I now look at it and realize we are woefully under developed. There are also some concerns about the size of our plants and produce. Our harvest has been pretty meager as well. Fortunately there are between 2 and 3 growing seasons in this part of the world. We are now planning our fall garden which will include many frost resistant vegetables that should produce through the winter. Things like cabbage, collards, carrots, and potatoes. Our fall garden will be made up mostly of Pinto beans, corn, winter squash, red potatoes, carrots, lettuce, onions, and tomatoes that we will protect with plastic when the frosts come.

We have had some successes with our summer garden. We had several bugs and some diseases that invaded us and killed some plants. We had the blight affect our tomatoes to the extent that we thought we might lose the crop. Rachel finally determined that tea tree oil might kill the blight and in fact it did. We thought that was a major victory considering our 80 year old neighbor who has had gardens every year since the forties said "once the blight always the blight". Rachel mixed 1t tea tree oil, .25t oregano oil into a gallon of water and used as a foliar spray. We also noticed the bugs diminished greatly.

Until next time.
Chris

The Rest of Us!

Here is our Millie. She's on the dock eating mashed potatoes, looking so happy. She is SO MUCH FUN!! She's the humor of our family. When we are down or need a good laugh, Millie's always there.
Here's Golden in all his AWESOMENESS, as Dean says. Just being goofy! We sure LOVE him. Without him...we may NEVER meet new people. Of course, Chris or Daddy, as we call him around here. Working hard on the garden. This is what he looks like pretty much every morning now. SO MANLY!! Here is the most recent picture of Pratt. Wish I had a better one...but don't. He's DEFINITELY our most energetic, always on the go...LOVER boy! He's ADORED being outside so much and being able to swim when ever he wants.

That's all of us!! I am hoping to be able to post again soon. I would like to share our experience with some of the things we've been doing for our garden. We thought we had the blight for awhile. We've also had to deal with quite a few cucumber beetles and squash bugs. I'll fill you in on how we've been treating everything in an organic way.

Until then.

Rachel

Meet Some of Us

Hello ya'll. To start off, we just want to show a bit of us and what we have done so far in our endeavor to freedom. The picture up above is our dear Chris or Dad, as we call him and our gorgeous Mabel. OH....we love her. Below is our growing garden. If you go back to my website, you will find some of the older pictures of our garden when we were first putting it in. You can see from these pictures that it has grown VERY much since then. Notice the smaller boxes in the background. That is the way Chris decided to plant squash, watermelons, and cantaloupes since they grow so large. It's kind of hard to see but it will be interesting to see how it turns out being planted that way.

Here is the newest addition to our family. Isn't she BEAUTIFUL? We just purchased her from the humane society. Her name is Sweet. She is a 4 year old pure breed border collie. She was a show dog for her previous owner. She know some commands which is great!! We made a list of EXACTLY what we wanted in a dog, each of us putting in our two cents. We then prayed over the list. She is, most definitely, God's tender mercies being shown in our little family.

Here is our AMAZING Dean. We are so blessed he is part of my family. Such a LOOKER!!Lastly, another picture of Mabel. She's just so cute we had to post another.

Check back again soon. We will be posting more pictures. There's 3 more of us you have to meet. Also, Chris will be writing a daily journal and we will be posting some of his musings too!

Until next time.

Rachel