While in the emergency room just hours after our car accident, I realize it is going to be almost impossible for me to nurse or take care of my baby...let alone my older children. I was in EXCRUTIATING pain, like I have NEVER had before. I actually felt myself trying to leave my body so I didn't have to deal with the pain but I decide that the pain is there to teach me so I will stay as long as I can to listen. Soon after taking my ex-rays, we learn my collar bone is, in fact, broken. Something that was QUITE obvious before the x-rays were even taken. I call my mother at 1 am, from the hospital, hoping that her deep love for me will come through and she will, like she has SO MANY times before, come to my aid and uplift and support my family and I through this healing. She arrives a day and a half later, more ready and willing to help than I think I have ever seen her before. I'm so THANKFUL she has come and know it is for the best I called her.
3 days after coming home from my trip, the dream comes again. This time it is changed slightly. I still walk into the colorless room and feel the energy surrounding it, it's just that I am only there for a moment. With the first dream, it felt to me that I was in the room for a VERY long time and the feelings I was feeling would NEVER end. This time I walked into the room knowing about and looking for my friends who had come to teach me in the first dream. Sure enough, as soon as the dream started, they showed up and again repeated almost verbatim exactly what happened the first dream. This time though I was there MUCH longer and understood more of what the white buckets were and what I should be learning.
So, within the first few days of my Mom's arrival, we start chatting about my life and such. I explain to her a how we are going down to San Pete County to look at some land and what we are thinking in regards to our future and what we are hoping to create for ourselves. I tell her about my dream and how we were feeling drawn to make some kind of move so we could build a more self sustaining life style. I still smile when I think of the look on her face when I was sharing this with her. I actually saw the light bulb come on of how she could help us, as my mother is ALL about helping anyone she can. She looks at me and says “Well, you know, we have 25 acres of land in Marshall and no one is living on it or planning on doing anything with it anytime soon. I'm sure if you were planning on putting in an orchard, if you put in an extra few fruit trees for us and take care of them, we wouldn't mind if you lived on the land and used it how you need to..”
My first reaction to this was to turn her down immediately but that is because I spent many of my growing up years in Texas and there was just something about it that I didn't like. Living here once again, I have found out what that is. BUGS and HEAT! But that's for another time so I'll wait to give my sermon on how I am struggling to live harmoniously with all living things....like our mission statement says.
Anyway, as soon as I see Chris later that evening I start to discuss the idea with him. He states that he already knew they had land and had even thought about mentioning it to me but he was sure I would have turned him down before he even mentioned it. Up til that point, I'm sure I would of but because of my experience in California and now my car accident I knew, for a surety, that things were in no way an accident and my life was being laid out for me and all I had to do was take it or not. I apologized about not being open sooner but told him I was open now and wanted to talk about it. With the VERY limited amount of money we had, we knew unless the land was gifted to us or we try to create our dreams on the small plot we were currently living on, there was just no way we could become as self sufficient as we were wanting.
So, after some long conversations and lots of praying, I told my Mom to seriously consider was moving there and asked her to talk to my Dad about it. That evening she did so and sure enough there were both in agreement that they were open to us using the land. Looking back and even now, it seems SO SURREAL how easily this whole moved ebbed and flowed. I can tell you I felt and still feel that so much about this is not about me or my family. I remember when I was studying to become a midwife, so many of them would comment on how they didn't decided to become a midwife....how midwifery called them. This is EXACTLY how we feel about everything about this move. It all came together so easily, gently even perfectly that we felt and feel called. It's hard to explain. I hope you understand.
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