The Dream

Just days before I left on my trip, I had a dream. One of the most VIVID and ALIVE dreams I have EVER had. Now understand, as of right now, I have never considered myself to be a big dreamer or I should that I've never felt I've had any gift in regards to dreams or dreaming. But....this dream was really like no other I had experienced before. It was more than just real. It was NOW! I was living it right then and I awoke KNOWING it. I really am not progressed enough in eloquent English to even be able to describe more accurately what I am talking about. It just felt like no other dream I had been a part of before that time.

As soon as I awoke, I woke up Chris to tell him about it. My dream was this and to this day it is still almost as vivid and real as it was then. In my dream, I walk into a room, it looks like a VERY SMALL apartment but looks similar to the kitchen/dining area of our current American Fork home, where all color is missing. Everything around me is black and white. I look to the far end of the room and there is a old wooden table and chairs that are barren. My eyes shift over to my family I see sitting in a corner of the room on the floor. Chris is standing looking down at the children....eyes tired, shoulder sagging and ever so burdened. There is an air of ABSOLUTE and COMPLETE desperation and longing for something that seems can now NEVER be given to Chris, myself or our children. I recognize that something is FOREVER lost and can or will never be returned. This feeling is almost palpable.

Upon looking at Chris and my children and the surroundings of where we are living, I soon realize we are destitute. We have next to nothing. Chris is VERY thin and my children look almost gaunt. You can tell they are not standing because they are too weak, thin and almost lifeless. I struggle to be able to even properly describe the thoughts and feelings I was flooded with upon entering this scene but thoughts and feelings were DEFINITE and I knew exactly what I was looking at and what was meant for me to learn. I can see that my family is starving. I look at Chris longing for answers. I walk to him and ask him what we are too do. With his head hanging, he shrugs his shoulders and states there is nothing we can do. It is too late. I processed to cry. I have never nor hope to ever feel this feeling of sheer desperation again. It was and still is like no other feeling I have felt before. It reminded me of how the Jews might have felt as they were driven away from their families and homes. That was the sense of doom and gloom that pervaded the air.

As soon as this feeling of nothingness entered and I was sinking deep into it, a light entered the room and the dream was split into half. Directly down the middle of my view, I could still see my family but the new scene that was arriving was now in this BRILLANT color....bright, shining, new, awakening, alive, refreshing like jumping in cool clean pool of water on a hot and weary day. Any and all of the negative and deep doom I had been feeling was IMMEDIATELY relieved and removed by this new scene entering our view. First, there was a couple...a man and a woman who walked up to us and gave a very friendly hello. I knew right away there were part of Chris and I, a enlightened, radiant, divine part of each of us. They didn't look like us which was interesting. The woman was blond and a bit overweight and the man looked like a farmer, thin and tall, wearing overalls. This was an strange sensation to know that these represented an unknown part of Chris and I but looked nothing like us.

Anyway, this man and woman were so friendly and inviting. They smiled like no other smile I had ever seen. Complete safety and longing for teaching and learning from them soon entered my spirit. After saying hello, they soon beckoned us to follow them. The woman held out her arms to show us the BEAUTY that surrounded where they live. I look around and notice they live in, what looks and feels like, the Garden of Eden. Everything is lush and green and growing like I have never seen before. They have a small but quaint log home. Peace, joy, and bliss permeate everything I see and feel. I stand in awe of this glorious place these people have set up for themselves.

Not many words are spoken between us and this couple. Most everything is communicated through thought or feelings. The woman then walks us over to her house and show us a room that seems to never end. It goes on and on and on. The only real description I can give this room is a long narrow hall like area where there are shelves on both sides. It reminded me of all the food storage rooms I had seen in many of the homes of my church going friends. On the shelves, stacked neatly in rows and right next to each other were white 5 gallon buckets. They went on as far as my eyes could see. It was obvious that much effort and hard work had gone into building, setting up and maintaining this room. Neither the man nor woman looked or carried an air of being worn out, in the least,. Quite the opposite. They were so humble yet anxious to show us this room. They watched our faces as we looked at their room to see the light come on inside us as we soon wanted to know how we could gain this self sustaining happiness that they had and were maintaining.

I immediately and excitedly asked how they had put together so much assurance for themselves. But even more than that, I wanted to know WHAT was inside the white buckets. The woman looked at me and responded with a short but quick answer that what was in the bucket was what was bringing their abundance. Abundance was the prevalent thought and word, once this couple entered the dream. I KNEW that whatever was in those buckets was what was giving them or bringing them to where they were which was a state of freedom, self sufficiency, utter joy, acceptance and peace like I never had nor since, felt.

The rest of the dream is me asking the woman what is in the buckets and her response each and every time is something in regard to it being the “thing” that had brought them their abundance. It was the “thing” that brought them to where they were. It was VERY OBVIOUS though that they were letting us know we could have it too! And it didn't feel hard or even out of reach in ANYWAY!! Quite the opposite. It felt light and easy. It felt that we could have it as soon as we wanted it and were ready for it. There was nothing we had to do to get to this place that they were at other than desiring it. Longing for it and then believing we can have it too! Right after that, I woke up somewhat disappointed to leave the feelings that had and were just being instilled like nothing else, into my heart and soul. The dream lingered with me for the rest of the day and some time after. At the time, the dream meant some kind of learning for Chris and I but I still hadn't realized the growth and understanding that would take place because of this dream.